I have a friend who is very spiritual. We were talking about love and relationships and he said that if he is interested in someone or loves someone and if this person does not love him back, he does not love this person anymore either. I am surprised about his point of view. What do you think about this?
I want to answer this question on different levels.
If we only love people
I'm getting married next year to the love of my life. However, due to the wedding and family interfering I've been stressed out lately. I've been on edge and so has my fiancé and we've snapped at each other. What can you recommend that I can do to help me deal with the situation?
Why is it that we hold on to relationships long past their natural end?
Think of a friendship that no longer exists. Do you still remember how your friend insulted or deserted you? You gained new friends, but you still feel that hurt.
Remember that supervisor who made your life such hell that you left to get a new job? You smile every time you think what a sad sod that supervisor is, and how much better off you are now. Or you still resent the opportunity that you missed as a result of that person, even though you gained much more from the new job than from the old one.
Then of course there is your marriage. You have known for a long time that
I sometimes get requests from people to help them move to the UK, because they are so unhappy where there are, for various reasons. For example, a man does not like his job in Jordan and sends his CV to me so that I can find him a job in England. Or a woman does not like the cultural constraints on her behavior and actions in Egypt and wants me to help her find an English boyfriend. Or a man in South Africa hears how happy his friends are in England, and decides to move after them and share their happiness.
The one thing that these people have in common is that they want other people to make them happy. They do not know yet that happiness comes from inside, and not from other people.
Recently I have had Elsabe's wisdom and experience on ending a relationship. I must admit I have never ended a relationship without feeling guilt, remorse or a sense of devastation, but this time Elsabe helped me to see that the relationship had come to its natural end and I was able to let go and move on with love in my heart for my ex partner and no feeling of having to make amends or justify my actions.
I was working through loads of photographs for a project that requires illustrations.
These photographs took me back to good times, hard times, happy times, times I would rather forget.
There are beautiful moments that I want to relive. I can see the energy and the Love of my grandchildren, and the wisdom in a photo of my dad in his last days.