I had a good life when I lived with my parents. Everything was simple and I was happy.
Then I moved into my own place and had my first real adult relationship. Now I have a landlord, a job, rent, money, and lack of sleep to deal with all the time.
I feel tired all the time. I am bored at work and come home to deal with all sorts of tiny issues that just pile up.
Why can’t life be as easy as it was in the old days? There must be a way to get some of that back?
When things get really stressful, it is time to first look after yourself.
I am normally a healthy male in my early twenties. I exercise regularly and use breathing techniques to reduce my stress.
I have some issues to deal with, including unrequited feelings for a girl at work.
At night I clench my jaws and grind my teeth. I also get very painful knots in my muscles and I get rashes and dark spots on my skin. I also have social anxiety.
What else can I do to alleviate my stress?
Over the last four weeks I have had some major things to deal with. My god-daughter was born and had to go straight into NICU (neo-natal intensive care unit). Then my sister’s baby was born and also had to go straight into NICU. I got a severe allergic reaction – I still don’t know the cause. Just after that I discovered that my mom has got skin cancer. And yesterday I had another severe allergic reaction and now I need to have tests done.
I have never coped well with stress, and this is just too much for me. As a result my home looks like a disaster area. My grocery shopping is behind. I have missed days at work, and I really care about my job. I have not exercised in weeks – and I love my exercise. I have started to snap at people for the simplest reasons.
What can I do to reduce my stress, or just to relax?
Don't stress about what has not happened yet because if you do, you create your nightmare.
There is a potential lawsuit against me.
While I am waiting for the decision, I am unable to sleep and eat properly, and I just want to stay in bed most of the time.
What can I do to feel better?
We cannot change the choices our parents make. We can only love them for what they teach us.
I am getting married in two months, and that is about the only thing that I am not stressing about at the moment.
I have a dreadful job where I am getting bullied to the point where I have already had to take sick leave. I am facing redundancy – I am not sure when, but I have already heard on the grapevine that I am on the list. If I hang in there I will get a redundancy package but then I will be unemployed at the time when I need money for the wedding. If I sue the company for bullying, I will probably win the case but the company won’t pay damages – they have done the same with two other people in the last two years.
My best friend is not supportive at all, and at the moment blames me for stuff in her life that has nothing to do with me. This is adding to my stress to the point where I just want to walk away from our friendship.
I have recently turned 20 and moved out of my parents’ home because I could not stand staying there any longer.
My parents are always fighting about money, but I can see how they cause their own money troubles. My dad has been unemployed for a long time and he smokes weed to relieve his stress. He can come up with the craziest things, and then gets frustrated and embarrassed, which makes it very difficult to speak to him.
My mom has a job that she hates, and she drinks two bottles of wine every night to deal with her stress. I work as a waiter and I have seen people sharing a bottle of wine and having a good time. I can see my mother does not have a good time – she drinks because she does not want to face her problems. When I try to talk to her, she says it is her money and she will do as she pleases.
My sisters dose themselves with prescription drugs and drink and smoke weed. I think they have also already tried crystal meth. I have tried to talk to them but they say if our parents can do it, why can’t they?
I don’t want you to think I am judging them. I have experimented with drugs and weed, but one day I had an experience where I felt God was reaching out to me and I just knew this was not what I wanted in my life. Now I will only take medication if the doctor prescribed it and there is no other way.
Even though I no longer live at home, I am really stressed about my family. Despite everything I love them and I know I can’t change them, but I want the best for them.
Can you help me?