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Sunday, 27 September 2015 14:01

Has My Surgery Affected My Judgment?

 

Question:

 

My wife left me a while ago for someone else and our divorce will be finalized soon.  I believed I had moved on, and have since met a lovely lady with whom I was very happy.

 

I have recently had hip surgery which temporarily put an end to my very active sports while I was on crutches.

 

After the surgery I broke up with my girlfriend for no reason, and tried to get my wife back (even though I knew she was already involved with another man).

 

Needless to say, I have since come to my senses and have my lovely girlfriend back with me.  Of course the divorce is going through, so that my wife and I can both move on.  I am also fully mobile again.

 

I am trying to understand why I caused such upheaval in my life with my actions.  Did the surgery cause some state of depression that made me lose my judgment?

 

 

Published in Spiritual Development

If you care about yourself other people will also care about you.

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Published in Spiritual Development

We cannot change the choices our parents make.  We can only love them for what they teach us.

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Published in Love and Relationships

Parents should not make their children feel guilty about growing up.  Children don't owe their parents anything for the decisions the parents make.

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Published in Love and Relationships
Saturday, 27 June 2015 13:50

Can Gossip Destroy Your Life?

 

Question:

I have been diagnosed with social phobia and anxiety by a psychologist who was not able to help me overcome these issues.  However, I have decided not to let that put me off. 

There was an incident at work with a female colleague who had bullied me for quite a while.  One day she just went too far and I threatened to beat her up.  Of course I will never lift my hand to a woman, and did not mean it.  Unfortunately the woman is related to the manager, who took her side and I lost my job. 

I have since had chance meetings with some ex-colleagues who looked at me in a funny way, as if they want to laugh at me but not to my face.  At first I thought it was my imagination, but then it happened again and again.  This made me believe that they are gossiping about me whenever they can.

 

I am wondering whether it is possible for gossip to destroy a person’s life.  Do you think I should be concerned about what these people say about me behind my back?  I know that I live in a large city and I no longer work for this company, but it still bothers me that these people are talking about me and I don’t have an opportunity to defend myself.

Published in Spiritual Development
Sunday, 21 June 2015 11:23

How Do I Break Away From My Parents?

Question:

I have recently turned 20 and moved out of my parents’ home because I could not stand staying there any longer.

My parents are always fighting about money, but I can see how they cause their own money troubles.  My dad has been unemployed for a long time and he smokes weed to relieve his stress.  He can come up with the craziest things, and then gets frustrated and embarrassed, which makes it very difficult to speak to him. 

My mom has a job that she hates, and she drinks two bottles of wine every night to deal with her stress.  I work as a waiter and I have seen people sharing a bottle of wine and having a good time.  I can see my mother does not have a good time – she drinks because she does not want to face her problems.  When I try to talk to her, she says it is her money and she will do as she pleases.

My sisters dose themselves with prescription drugs and drink and smoke weed.  I think they have also already tried crystal meth.  I have tried to talk to them but they say if our parents can do it, why can’t they?

I don’t want you to think I am judging them.  I have experimented with drugs and weed, but one day I had an experience where I felt God was reaching out to me and I just knew this was not what I wanted in my life.  Now I will only take medication if the doctor prescribed it and there is no other way.

Even though I no longer live at home, I am really stressed about my family.  Despite everything I love them and I know I can’t change them, but I want the best for them.

Can you help me?

Published in Love and Relationships

Children are entitled to live their own lives.  Parents should not deny their children the freedom to become adults

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Published in Love and Relationships
Monday, 04 May 2015 11:27

How Do I Escape From My Mother?

Question:

My mother won’t let go of me and it is driving me crazy.

I am 21 years old and was not even allowed to arrange a birthday party for myself – not that it would have been a big party, because I only have one friend.  My younger brother has already left home to study, but my mother refused me that opportunity.  Instead she expects me to stay home and do all the cooking and cleaning.  My mom seems to be afraid of so many things and wants me to take care of her all the time.

I recently got a job, and my mother makes a scene every time I leave for work, but I refuse to give up the job.  At the same time she expects me to use my money to pay the household bills, even though she has her own well-paid job. 

I have decided to leave home and move into a small flat.  I don’t know how to tell my mother this without having a confrontation, because I don’t know how she will treat my younger sister when I leave home.  I love my mother, but Iwant to have my own life and make my own rules.  I want to go out with friends and study and travel.  

How do I get away from all this?

Published in Love and Relationships
Saturday, 21 March 2015 17:21

I Only Have Two Hands! - Podcast

When you feel overwhelmed, do only what will keep you out of trouble.

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To read more about dealing with relationship issues:

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Click here if you are outside the UK.

 

Published in Love and Relationships
Saturday, 21 March 2015 15:54

I Only Have Two Hands!

Question:

I am a young mother of a baby under two years.  I have a full-time job as well. 

At home I have to prepare supper, and breakfast and lunch every evening for the next day.  I also have to prepare my baby’s food.  I have all the washing and cleaning to do as well. 

At work I am overloaded because a colleague went on medical leave and I have to do her job as well as my own.

My husband expects a clean house but does not help me, even with the baby.  I have talked to him about giving up my job, but he does not want me to.  He just says I am not the first woman who is going through this phase and I must cope.

In the past few weeks I have had the most unbearable backache, and I am falling behind with everything.  What can I do to get back on top of things again?

 

Published in Love and Relationships
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