Please Make Me Happy

Please Make Me Happy Please Make Me Happy Image courtesy of Carlos Porta/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I sometimes get requests from people to help them move to the UK, because they are so unhappy where there are, for various reasons. For example, a man does not like his job in Jordan and sends his CV to me so that I can find him a job in England. Or a woman does not like the cultural constraints on her behavior and actions in Egypt and wants me to help her find an English boyfriend. Or a man in South Africa hears how happy his friends are in England, and decides to move after them and share their happiness.

The one thing that these people have in common is that they want other people to make them happy. They do not know yet that happiness comes from inside, and not from other people.

To put it another way, they feel trapped in their situation and want to escape at all costs to the land of milk and honey, wherever and whoever that is.

Guess what? These are the immigrants who find fault with everything in their adopted country. They cannot find what they came looking for, and go back to their homeland, even more disillusioned than when they arrived in their adopted country.

This happens when someone does not understand one of the basic laws of nature, namely that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. They live in a bubble of unhappiness and they do not even notice the positive aspects of their situation.

Every situation, no matter how 'bad' it is, has two sides. And we have two options in terms of how to deal with the situation. We can focus entirely on the downside, and find lots of evidence that we are right. Or we can deliberately search for the upside of the situation – because it is there if we care to look for it.

For example, to escape from an unpleasant job my friend has developed a hobby that he can make money from. That will combine his passion with his economic need. He can practice that hobby in Jordan or in England.

The lady could find an English boyfriend and be at his beck and call, so that she can survive in England. How does that differ from being at the beck and call of a man in her own country based on her own culture? She already has many means of coping with her current situation but does not recognize them, because she is looking for a solution from someone else.

And the South Africans who want to come to England in search of happiness? Until they have resolved their emotional issues about their own country, they will not be happy anywhere else in the world.

If you are unhappy where you are right now, look for the exact opposite of what causes your unhappiness. When you find it, a chemical reaction will take place in your body, and you will change permanently – for the better.

Last modified on Tuesday, 07 February 2017 08:02

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