I had a good life when I lived with my parents. Everything was simple and I was happy.
Then I moved into my own place and had my first real adult relationship. Now I have a landlord, a job, rent, money, and lack of sleep to deal with all the time.
I feel tired all the time. I am bored at work and come home to deal with all sorts of tiny issues that just pile up.
Why can’t life be as easy as it was in the old days? There must be a way to get some of that back?
We cannot change the choices our parents make. We can only love them for what they teach us.
I am getting married in two months, and that is about the only thing that I am not stressing about at the moment.
I have a dreadful job where I am getting bullied to the point where I have already had to take sick leave. I am facing redundancy – I am not sure when, but I have already heard on the grapevine that I am on the list. If I hang in there I will get a redundancy package but then I will be unemployed at the time when I need money for the wedding. If I sue the company for bullying, I will probably win the case but the company won’t pay damages – they have done the same with two other people in the last two years.
My best friend is not supportive at all, and at the moment blames me for stuff in her life that has nothing to do with me. This is adding to my stress to the point where I just want to walk away from our friendship.
I have recently turned 20 and moved out of my parents’ home because I could not stand staying there any longer.
My parents are always fighting about money, but I can see how they cause their own money troubles. My dad has been unemployed for a long time and he smokes weed to relieve his stress. He can come up with the craziest things, and then gets frustrated and embarrassed, which makes it very difficult to speak to him.
My mom has a job that she hates, and she drinks two bottles of wine every night to deal with her stress. I work as a waiter and I have seen people sharing a bottle of wine and having a good time. I can see my mother does not have a good time – she drinks because she does not want to face her problems. When I try to talk to her, she says it is her money and she will do as she pleases.
My sisters dose themselves with prescription drugs and drink and smoke weed. I think they have also already tried crystal meth. I have tried to talk to them but they say if our parents can do it, why can’t they?
I don’t want you to think I am judging them. I have experimented with drugs and weed, but one day I had an experience where I felt God was reaching out to me and I just knew this was not what I wanted in my life. Now I will only take medication if the doctor prescribed it and there is no other way.
Even though I no longer live at home, I am really stressed about my family. Despite everything I love them and I know I can’t change them, but I want the best for them.
Can you help me?
I am a young mother of a baby under two years. I have a full-time job as well.
At home I have to prepare supper, and breakfast and lunch every evening for the next day. I also have to prepare my baby’s food. I have all the washing and cleaning to do as well.
At work I am overloaded because a colleague went on medical leave and I have to do her job as well as my own.
My husband expects a clean house but does not help me, even with the baby. I have talked to him about giving up my job, but he does not want me to. He just says I am not the first woman who is going through this phase and I must cope.
In the past few weeks I have had the most unbearable backache, and I am falling behind with everything. What can I do to get back on top of things again?
Some people thrive on stressing about everything. Rather than reassure them, tell them you respect their choice to stress but there are other choices available.
To read more about dealing with relationship issues:
My girlfriend stresses all the time about her finances and her grades at university. She is very intelligent – and this shows in the grades she gets. She is also good with money and as a result financially secure with her income.
However, no matter what I do, she disagrees. I have quoted her grades to her, and I have worked out her budget to prove her financial situation to her, but all she said was that I am trying to prove her stupid.
How do I get her to stop stressing over nothing?