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Welcome to the Age of Aquarius

 

I am sure you are familiar with the line “This is the dawning of the Age of Aquarius” from the musical Hair from the 60s.

Guess what?  We are right inside the dawning of the Age of Aquarius.  But what does it mean? 

The constellations change to a new zodiac sign roughly every 2 150 years.  I am using the word “roughly” because time is a man-made concept that helps us cope with this dimension.  The stars and the stellar system follow their own waves, and they are not interested in the clocks and calendars that we use on earth.

The dawning of the Age of Aquarius indicates that we have been coming out of the Age of Pisces, and we are now entering the new Age of Aquarius. 

The last time we had an Age of Aquarius was around 13 000 years ago, during Babylonian times.   Legend says that the Age of Aquarius begins when the March equinox point moves out of the constellation Pisces and into the constellation Aquarius.

Did this happen in March 2020?  Or before that?  Or even in the previous century?  Apparently, astrologers cannot give us a definitive answer - which does not surprise me, because the stars follow their own rules.  The planets don’t operate on earthly rhythms.  They wander around like drunken flies, but at the same time with a clear sense of destiny and direction.  If you want to see how the planets move, start studying crop circles and their beautiful patterns. 

I suspect we have made that shift from Pisces to Aquarius a while ago, and this is now clearly reflected in what is happening around is. 

Pisces is the last sign of the zodiac, and contains elements of all the previous zodiac signs.  Pisces was the swan song of a previous era.  That means the Age of Aquarius is a new beginning, not only of a new zodiac sign, but of a new era of around 13 000 years.

We left the Age of Pisces with a deep sense of knowing and a focus on faith.  Over the past 2 000 years humanity did a lot of introspection and wanted answers about creativity, spirituality and intuition.  We were all taught about altruism and self-sacrifice - and we had to learn all these things, because in previous eras we did everything we could to destroy each other.

The Age of Aquarius is a completely new beginning, with a mantra of “I know”.  This is not the opposite of faith.  Instead, this is an age where we can prove what we have intuitively known for millennia. 

Of course, this comes with a lot of new knowledge and reform for humanity.

Can we blame a virus for this change?  Yes, the virus and the completely irrational response to the virus has rubbed our noses int o the fact that nothing will be the same again.

However, we are still looking for getting back to the status quo, when in fact there has been a new status quo for many years - and it has got nothing to do with shopping and exercising. 

Do you remember how the Law of Attraction has swept the spiritual world a few years ago?  And there were the books on Conversations with God  and A Course in Miracles and Gary Renard’s amazing book The Disappearance of the Universe?

All of those books, and many others, clearly indicated that the old rules no longer work.  These works give us guidelines on navigating a new world.  If you have those books, do yourself a favour and read them again.

But the wave of change did not stop there. 

 

Afraid?  Remember the Law of Attraction

We live in times of change on a scale that few of us can imagine.  We know where we come from, but in a very short time the world has changed, and it will never return to what it was.

Whose fault is it?  Depends on which social media you allow into your consciousness.  Did the virus originate from an animal in a dirty Chinese market?  Or was it planted in the market - or even in a few places - by the US government?  Does the virus follow the footprint of 5G?  Is it in fact not a virus, but rather your body’s reaction to 5G radiation? 

And I am sure you can add to the list.

My question is:  What can you do about any of those possible causes? 

And the answer is simple:  Nothing.

Does that leave you powerless? 

On the contrary.  It leaves every single one of us in a position of power that is mind-blowing. 

Have you noticed that?  Or are you inadvertently adding to fearmongering by spreading anything that relates to the situation, whether it is true or relevant or appropriate or not?  If you are too quick on the Send or Forward button, here is a suggestion.  You could spend time on doing your research on the internet and getting facts.  Or even better, get off the internet as far as you can, and claim your power.

What does that mean: claim your power?

Remember how the Law of Attraction became everyone’s bible a few years ago?  Even today there are still prophets around who sell expensive courses so that you can get rich/find the perfect partner/find your soulmate/do anything your heart desires overnight by just following what the course tells you - once you have made the financial dreams of the course creator come true.

Here is a but of truth that I will give you for free:  The Law of Attraction works - but only together with a lot of elbow grease and focus.

There is a simple mantra that encompasses the Law of Attraction: What you think about and thank about, you bring about.  It is that simple.

Think about what you want - and do it in detail and with an action plan.  Say thank you and feel the gratitude for what you are about to receive.  Then see how it materialises based on your action.  Try it - dream your dreams, and then do what is needed to make those dreams reality.  The more you do that, the more the Universe adds to the scale of your dreams, and the more materialises for you.

What does that have to do with the pandemic?

What are you thinking about?  What do you allow to fill your mind?  What do you focus on? That is what you bring about.

And the only way to get the future we all want, is to focus on that future rather than on the myriad of distractions that the media feed us.

I run a WhatsApp group that is meant to focus on gratitude ad give people hope.  I want everyone to focus on the purpose of the group.  You have no idea how I have my hands full sending fear and fearful posts and fearful attitudes away from the group - I spend a lot of time explaining what the group is about, and next another post jumps out (just like a virus) and I have to start again.

And no, I am not like an ostrich with my head in the sand.  My view is that there are hundreds of groups and sites where there is a place for everything related to the pandemic, but my group is there to provide balance, by focusing on the amazing new world that is unfolding right under our noses.

What you think about and thank about, you bring about. 

I choose to think about spiritual awakening, recognising the truth, and spreading Unconditional Love.  That is the Law of Attraction in action.

What is your version of the Law of Attraction?  What do you think about and thank about?

We Have Lockdown. So?

Millions of people all over the globe are house-bound and only allowed to go out for essential trips.  Of course, I could write a book about the reasons for this, and whether the lockdown is justified or not.  However, it is what is. 

The more important question is what to do about it.

Creating Gratitude

 

Is it possible to create gratitude rather than just feel it momentarily?  Yes, it is. Let me explain.

The Universe is in complete balance - from the largest global pandemic to the smallest sub-atomic particle. That is how everything was created.  We tend to forget about this incredibly beautiful balance when we get stuck in emotions.

 

What Is Your Alibi for Change?

How do you react to change?  Or how do you respond to change?

This is not just word play.

Reacting to change is a knee-jerk defense where your favorite alibi kicks in, and taking the wrong action or an inappropriate action.  More about these alibis below.

Responding to change, on the other hand, means understanding that change is happening, assessing the change, and then thinking about it before acting to make the best of the change.

Think Before You Post Those Memes

 

We all want to spread joy in the world, right?

And we all are on social media where this is as easy as pressing a button, right?  Wrong.  So far I know seven people who are not on Facebook.  How in the world do they keep up with family gossip and world politics?

Jokes aside, I often see “spiritual” posts on social media that makes it clear the creator or sender is not familiar with spiritual laws, and they don’t think before they spread the words.

Here is an innocent-looking meme I found on a social media group:

 “To protect your energy:  It’s okay to cancel a commitment.  It’s okay to not answer a call.  It’s okay to change your mind.  It’s okay to want to be alone.  It’s okay to take a day off.  It’s okay to do nothing.  It’s okay to speak up.  It’s okay to let go.”

The first three statements don’t protect your energy.  On the contrary.  They compromise the universal law of “Say what you do and do what you say”, and they create an energy blockage, for which you then need to face the consequences.  That is not okay in any shape or form.

When you have made a commitment, then only the direst circumstances must be a reason for not honoring that commitment.   I saw a video the other day of a young black American who found getting a job quite a challenge because of unemployment and racism.  He finally landed a job in a town twenty miles away and was quite excited about it.  It was a typical first job with a furniture removal company which required carrying and lifting all sorts of items with care for hours on end.  He did not mind, because it was his job and he had a job.

The night before he got everything ready, and set out his clothes.  He needed to run an errand with the car he was going to get to work, and discovered the car had broken down.  He called around to find a friend who could give him a lift, with no luck.  And there was no public transport.

What did he do?  In his mind there was only one thing to do – start walking.  That is what he did around midnight – because he had a job and a commitment.  At dawn he was stopped by a police officer on patrol, because he was a black man and out of place.  He told the officer what had happened and why he was in the area.

The officer took him to a diner and bought him breakfast.  Because of bureaucratic restrictions he could not take the young man all the way to work.

The young man hit the road again.  Another officer – who had heard about this from the first officer – found the young man a couple of miles further on and was able to drop him off at work – much earlier than he was meant to be there. 

Imagine being black in an area where racism is rife, and arriving at your place of work in the back of a police car!  However, the story did not stop here.

To avoid any issues, the police officer contacted the owner of the business to explain why his new employee arrived for work in a police car.

The young man put in a full day’s work of hard labor and sweat, because he had a job and he gave his word.   He had no idea how he was going to get home, but that did not interfere with his work performance. 

The owner went out to meet the young man at the end of his shift.  He not only expressed his gratitude to the young man for making such an effort to get to work – he also gave the young man a car that he drove home with that night.

What can I say?  When you say what you do and then do what you say, the Universe delivers on the bargain.  You might not get a car for free, but reneging on your commitment is not an option – ever.

Yes. It was OK not to answer a call before the age of mobile phones.  Nowadays you don’t ignore a call.  If you don’t want to answer a call, then switch off your phone and ensure you have voicemail on.  Not answering a call while you hang the washing or have a bath is OK, but then you phone back at the first opportunity.  Simply choosing to not answer calls is a violation of the universal law.  If you really don’t want to take a call from a person, you have the option to block that person on your phone.   However, even when you do so, ask yourself why, until you understand what emotions the caller evokes and why you don’t want to deal with the person. 

Yes, it’s OK to change your mind, but ensure that you first say what you do, and then do what you say.   If you say one thing and then do another thing without warning, the message to the world is simple: You are unreliable.   Do it often enough, and the message will come back to you clearly from your interactions with family, friends and work colleagues.

There is another meme which people send round without thinking:

“Religion is for people who are afraid of hell.  Spirituality is for people who have been through hell.”

The implication is clearly that spirituality is superior to religion, and people who profess to be spiritual have had superior experiences. That is so far from the truth.

I know religious people who are far more spiritual than they would acknowledge, and they are comfortable in their religious practices.  They have a different way of thinking, but that does not make them wrong – just as a spiritual lifestyle doesn’t make anybody right.

The more I read and educate myself, the more I discover that the main religions contain the same truths.  No, religion is not for me, because I don’t feel I can embrace everything in any one of the religions I have studied.  I can embrace everything I have learnt and experienced about spirituality so far, but I have also discovered through spirituality how much truth there is in the main religious texts.

Religion – any religion – and spirituality are simply different facets of the same diamond.  Who are you to say that one facet on a diamond is superior to another?

Here is another one:

“How people treat you is all about them and nothing about you.”

Not true.   This implies that you are perfect, and people who don’t treat you as perfect are wrong about you.

How people treat you is about the contract which you have with each of these people.  Therefore all interactions are about them as well as about you.

If people treat you with disrespect, ask yourself whether you act and talk in such a way that you earn respect all the time.  Or are they with their behavior reflecting back to you what you send into the world, namely that your words and actions don’t reflect respect?

If you believe the meme, you absolve yourself from any introspection, and you give yourself permission to act in ways that may be very hurtful to people. 

You also ignore the Golden Rule, namely to do unto others what you want to have done unto yourself.

Before you hit the share button next time, ask yourself whether you fully resonate with everything in the meme, and whether the meme complies with universal spiritual law.

Specials on the Black Friday Sale!

So, it’s the fourth Friday in November, and time for the Black Friday sales. 

There is a long weekend (because Thanksgiving is on the fourth Thursday of November) where people who normally ignore each other get together and pretend to be happy to see each other.  They eat and drink and deny the undercurrents of family rivalry and animosity.  They end up with a hangover and a lot of frustration because nothing has changed since the previous Thanksgiving.

So what is the answer?  Retail therapy.  And the additional justification is that Christmas is only a few weeks away, and this is the ideal opportunity to buy mindless Christmas gifts for a pagan holiday.

This is where the Black Friday Sales come in handy.

Why is it called Black Friday?  Apparently the term originated in the city of Philadelphia in the USA in 1952.  Police and traffic cops were already used to very dense pedestrian and vehicle traffic on the Friday after Thanksgiving, and someone used the term Black Friday to refer to the traffic.  The term stuck and merchants started using it to describe the queues of people in their shops, waiting to be served.  The term is now being used country-wide in the USA, but it has also gained momentum in many other countries.

The perception that merchants create with a bombardment of TV advertisements, emails, social media ads and every possible means of rubbing the noses of consumers into details about the items on sale, is that there is scarcity.  If you don’t buy – and if you don’t buy in large quantities – you will run short, or you will miss out and the opportunity will never come along again.

The phenomenon is an example of classic conditioning of the crowds who follow and don’t ask any questions apart from “how much?” or “can I have more of what I won’t use or don’t need at a price that underlines scarcity?”.

But is there truly such scarcity?

Is there any scarcity of anything on this earth?

Back to quantum physics and a very strong message.

Energy – the creative and intelligent energy that is everything – consists of waves.  Those waves are all around us all the time.  The waves have the potential of becoming particles, and the particles are drawn together to form any object we can possibly imagine.

Can you see what is happening here?  It is mind-blowing.

Retailers decide what items they want to sell to unsuspecting customers so that they can make a profit.  They advertise en masse and relentlessly.  The customers get excited about the “bargains” and imagine owning these items.  They in fact help the retailers with creating as many items as possible, so that they can then have the short-term satisfaction of buying the items.

They don’t understand the process they use, and how mind-blowing the process can be if it is applied in a different context. 

Imagine creating a hundred thousand bottles of a soft drink, so that they can be sold at a Black Friday sale at a “reduced” price.  Do you really think the retailers will sell anything at prices where they don’t still make a handsome profit?

At the lowest possible level of creation, the retailers planted the thought in the minds of the customers by saying “connect the dots for us, please”.  The willing customers then started thinking of the “bargains” they will get.  They willingly turned waves into particles, and grouped the particles together to align with the ideas that were planted by the retailers.  Then they confirmed the creation by spending money on what they helped create.

What if those same retailers used the same techniques to say “we envisage providing clothes to an entire village – come and help us do so in exchange for the satisfaction of it”?   What if customers say “what a brilliant idea – I will help imagine all sorts of materials and accessories, and work with other people until our creation materialize”? 

Can you imagine how we can change the worlds with such thoughts? We can provide water, clothes, food, shelter …

Instead we buy into this illusion of scarcity.  The retailers are telling us that we have to hurry to the ocean with our teaspoons, and get as many teaspoons of water as possible within the next 24 hours, because if we don’t, tomorrow morning the ocean will be dry.

And we wake up a week after Black Friday, and we are too stupid to realize that we have bought into someone else’s dream and made their dreams come true at the expense of our own – because we don’t believe that our own dreams can come true that easily.  All we need to do is take a moment, create our own dream, and start changing those waves into particles.

I am afraid I am not offering you any Black Friday specials.  Yes, I noted that my courses on www.udemy.com and on www.skillshare.com are available at a special Black Friday price.  I had nothing to do with that, and the courses will still be available tomorrow and the week and the month after that.

Instead, I am very busy creating workshops and webinars – because I want you to make your dreams come true.

Enjoy your shopping!

Thoughts on November 11

I wanted to write this article about November 11 for two reasons – one heavenly and one earthly, but both reasons have a Divine connection.  I have waited for the day to pass, because I did not want to rain on anyone’s parade, and the article reflects my personal opinions

I will start with the hype around 11am on November 11th, which apparently was the time of ascension, and the time of magical manifestation for those that were ready to receive.  Of course the implication is that if nothing magical manifested for you, you were not ready to receive, and therefore you are somehow guilty of something.

I have not ascended (probably my karma because I had already planned to write this article) but I have also not heard of anyone else who had ascended over the weekend. 

I did experience magical manifestation in several forms over the weekend, but I want to put that into perspective. 

I have been working very hard, and for long hours for years, to get where I am in terms of my spiritual work.  It has been a long and often lonely journey, but I kept my faith, and I am now in a space where things are materializing.  I believe it has all to do with timing (ensuring that everyone and everything are in the best positions) and with a window of opportunity that I am strongly aware of.  

Here is the crux:  I am aware of the window of opportunity, and I know it will last for about seven months, of which two months have already passed.  This is my personal window of opportunity, and yours may coincide with it – or it may come later or be longer or shorter.  The point is that it is here for me, and I am aware of it.

What do I do about it?  I have options.  I can say there are still five months left, and I am doing well, and I can slow down.  I can work even harder and be even more focused, and achieve even more – knowing this option will mean more work, less social time, being more productive, and meeting my specific targets.  I chose this last option, because I have been in this space before, and I have learnt.  Another option would have been to say I am tired, and to get despondent because nothing is happening, and to ignore the window of opportunity – but this is not in my nature and it is not my truth.

What will happen if I miss or ignore this window of opportunity?  I can still achieve my targets, and my plans will still materialize, but it will be like swimming with an elephant tied to each foot.  It will require extremely hard work, and the energy-draining emotions will multiply ten-fold.  No thanks – I would rather work myself to pieces now and see the fruit of my labor later.

Another advantage of fitting everything I can into this window of opportunity is that it is like swimming with fins on – I go faster than ever, and things fall into place like domino blocks.

What has this got to do with 11am on November 11th?  Everything and nothing.  What and how much will materialize if you did not put everything into the creation process?  Nothing.  No date and no time will create miracles if you have not done the groundwork.  That is why you are on this earth – to practice your creation skills, and not to stand around waiting to receive from others.

The other question is: where in the world did I have to be so that I could benefit from this “only once in 10 years” magical moment?  We have time zones, and clocks can be wrong.  And I have never noticed that the sun, the planets revolving around the sun, the moon or the entire solar system – or another solar system for that matter – freezes until everyone from Greenland to Australia and everywhere in-between have caught up with numerological predictions.

With the window of opportunity that I referred to, that is another story.  The planets don’t stop.  They simply continue on their ancient paths, regardless of what I do.  These planets will align, and remain in that alignment for a while in earthly time, while they move along slowly but surely.  It is up to me to do that I need to do while the alignment is in my favor.

And I am definitely not against numerology.  One of the best books I have read in my life is The Beginner’s Guide to Constructing the Universe by Michael S. Schneider.  The book explains the meaning of every number on three different levels, but the book does not link the ancient science of understanding numbers in any way to earthly time.  W.E.B. Du Bois said “When you have mastered numbers, you will in fact no longer be reading numbers, any more than you read words when reading books.  You will be reading meanings.”  There is a lot to numerology, as long as you don’t try and tie numbers to time and to Divine timing.

If you look at the advice that has been touted about preparing for and experiencing 11am on November 11th, all of it is good, and all of it needs to be applied – but apply it every single day of your life, not just on a specific day at a specific hour. God is not your baby-sitter, and God entrusted you with the ability to create.  Out of 8 400 000 species on this earth, humans are the only ones who can create.  What are you doing about it?

The second aspect to 11am on November 11th is the insistence that everyone must stop, buy a poppy, pray and in other ways show respect to dead soldiers from the two world wars.  I get into trouble about this every year, but I will repeat this again.  I have never expected or asked anyone to go to war and kill people on my behalf, and I would rather die than do that.  I don’t regard anyone going to war as making a sacrifice for anyone.  Either it is a conscious career choice, or people in positions of power abuse their power and send their subordinates to death.  What is there to celebrate about that?  I believe in the Law of Attraction:  What you think about and thank about, you bring about.  I would happily join a peace rally, but I will not give credit to two horrific wars in any way.  Call me hard-hearted or disrespectful, and when you are done, decide for yourself how you feel about war and what message you send into the world.  I will take responsibility for myself.

And while I am on the topic: What really irks me are these videos of children being reunited with their mothers after the mothers abandoned them for months at a time to go off and do military service.  Children, like dogs, are not just for Christmas.  A mother is entrusted with a child to raise, and that child needs to take preference over joining the army.  I have no issue with working mothers, but I do have an issue with mothers clearly neglecting their children and being applauded for doing so purely because the mothers chose to wear a uniform.  If anyone out of a uniform abandoned their children so that they can go and kill people or support the killing of people, they will go to prison or the children will be taken away from them.  And did any of these kids give their permission to be paraded around the world in videos where they are used as marketing props for “sacrificing” parents?  Why should the kids sacrifice and who gives them any options?

I will stop here.

Namaste and peace to you. 

What are you going to create today?  Remember, the creation process takes place in your mind before anything else. 

Trusting That Silent Voice

I am clairaudient, clairvoyant and clairsentient.  When I do psychic readings for clients, I clearly hear, see or feel what I need to convey to clients.  This is not my imagination – that is a different topic altogether.  It is as real as I am writing here.

Or maybe it is not as real.  Or maybe it is more real than me writing here.  This elusiveness is exactly the reason why people often don’t trust that inner Voice. 

I like to explain that when I do psychic readings, I tune into your private space and tell you what I see, hear and feel while I do that.  I do this with confidence, because I have over the years learnt to fully trust the information I get in this manner.  I may not understand half of it at times, but then I remind myself that I am the messenger.  I rely on my clients to tell me when I am wrong, and I can say with confidence that this happens very seldom.  I have also had a few rare experiences where clients told me I was wrong, and then contacted me again to tell me that what I gave them was right.

I am writing this, not to blow my own horn, but to explain how easy it is to listen on behalf of other people, because I have learnt to trust that inner Voice when it comes to clients.

There is another side of the coin – me and my life.  And this applies to everyone, not only to people who work as psychics.

There are times when I struggle with something and I desperately want to hear that inner Voice guiding me – and it is not there.  I have observed that sometimes I need to wade through treacle before I get any clarity on a situation.  While this goes on, I cannot tell you how lonely I feel.  After all, I am supposed to be in touch with all these helpers and guides and ancestors all the time – and I am supposed to have full access to their wisdom at all times. 

So why does this inner Voice not work for me whenever I want to summon it?  Why is it that I have to sometimes go through hell and back before the Voice talks to me?  I am a good person, and I help people all the time by using my gift to help them navigate around obstacles in their lives.  Why is it that God sometimes forsake me and I have to find my way all by myself?

When we have these challenging experiences, we forget that we are here to have human experiences and gain wisdom from them.  We forget to observe ourselves and detach from the situation.  We allow all these emotions to take us on a roller-coaster bare-knuckle ride, and we – or at least I – desperately cry out to get this to STOP – because it is so painful.

I recently found myself in a situation where I felt my whole world came tumbling down around me.  I felt that everything I had planned and worked for had come to an abrupt, vicious and vindictive end, despite all the Love that I had poured into the situation for as long as I can recall.  I needed a way out – and I realised that retaliation and aggression was not the answer.  But what was the answer?  And where was that trusty inner Voice?  Why did I only experience a dead quiet? 

And when you are in such a situation, it is very easy to suddenly have a thought that gives you hope, only to realise that it is your own thought – not the Voice – and that it is about as useful as bursting a pimple by force. 

You cannot make that Voice talk to you.  You cannot imitate it. You cannot dictate to it.

All you can do is to keep focusing on Love, no matter how hard the situation is, and no matter how desperate and desolate you feel,

The Voice will come.

And the Voice did come for me.

At a point where I had accepted that my whole world had come tumbling down, when I least expected it, there was the Voice, telling me in one short sentence what would happen next.  I knew, as sure as I am writing here, that it was not my thought, and that it was the Voice guiding me.  I knew that from where I could see, the outcome was about as possible as a chocolate teapot.  But I knew it was the Voice, and that what it was telling me was pure truth.

And would you believe it, less than two hours later it was as if my world had been righted again by an invisible Hand that wanted to show me that my world was never broken – my perspective was broken.  The outcome that I simply did not believe was possible, was offered to me on a plate, and it was exactly what I was promised.

In one short moment my faith was restored – and I was reminded of how fickle we can be.  Nothing had changed except that I had managed a situation with lots of tears, but with none of the aggression that I could have used to be totally destructive.  I felt like the Voice was in the background all the time, observing and supporting me, watching to see how I would manage the challenge that life had thrown at me. 

I now know that I had passed some sort of test.  I also know that the Voice is there all the time – not just for my clients, but also for me.  I still have a pulse, and as long as that is the case, I will have these life experiences and I will be able to rely on the Voice to guide me when necessary, and to let me walk my own path in silence when necessary. 

All I need to do is trust. And that is the challenge with the Voice which is as solid as it is subtle.  I will continue to do my work and listen and learn.

Interesting question, and one I have had on my list of topics to write about for a while now, but the time is right to write about it.

I noticed the question on social media, and at the time thought by myself “Sweetheart, you don’t understand.  They don’t destroy, they set free.  What are you doing with your freedom?”

It is so easy to blame the “destroyer” when you are in the situation.  Of course, the “destroyer” needs to take responsibility for what they have said and done – shouldn’t we all?  Then why does it look and feel like someone behaves in a vicious, immature and destructive manner and they don’t show any regret?  Why, even if you make them aware of how you feel, don’t they show any repentance, and often tell you to “get a life” or “not take things so seriously”?

It is easy, while you are in the situation, to focus entirely on your emotions.  Often the predominant emotions are self-pity, anger, hurt and even thoughts of being equally destructive.

The perspective normally comes once you have distanced yourself from the situation – and therein lies the dilemma.  For you to distance yourself form the situation, there are two crucial ingredients.  The first is enough knowledge and self-insight to understand that you need to detach and become an observer in your own life. 

You need to understand that your life is part of a journey which did not start with your birth.  The day you were born was a significant day, but your journey started long before you were even conceived.   We are part of eternal life and your life here is simply one chapter – albeit a chapter that can stretch over close to a century if you are lucky.

Your life here does not happen by accident.  Most of the details are thoroughly planned long before you are born.  Part of the planning involved conversations and agreements with people who will play an important part in your life.  Some people agree to be our parents and siblings.  Others agree to be our life partners and our children.  Then there are less significant role players who agree to be friends, work colleagues, important or distant relatives and so on.  We also enter into contracts with each one of these people regarding the role they will play in our lives.  These roles differ, and each role has its own purpose.  For example, you may have cousins that you are close to, and cousins that you would not even recognise in the street.  You have life-long friends, and friends who play a role and then fade out, and they may return after some years.

None of these things happen by accident.  They are all part of a Divine design, and we have the privilege of being the actors in this design.

And yes, this includes contracts with people who will intentionally behave in a less than pleasant manner.  Are they deliberately hurtful?  Yes, in the sense that they live out their contracts of providing us with specific experiences.  No, in the sense that we choose how to respond emotionally to these experiences. 

A large part of our journey on earth is to experience and tame our emotions.  We have experiences that could evoke certain emotions in us.  We initially react with these strong emotions, and they take over.  We don’t even try too make sense of the emotions, but rather wallow in them for as long as we can manage to keep them going.

Once we learn the art of detachment, we still experience the emotions, but we don’t hold on to the emotions for that long.  Instead, we observe the emotions, and become curious.  Why did this person press this button?  Why did I respond in this manner?  I noticed that I did not have that knee-jerk reaction like I had in the past.  I responded in a slower manner, but I still had a strong emotion.  Why did I have this emotion?  Or rather, how has the emotion changed me?

That is the crux of the matter.  When we have emotional reactions or responses, we change. 

This is where the second critical ingredient, namely time, comes in.  We can take all the time in the world to experience those emotions, and not be aware of anything else, anyone else, or any way out of the situation.   The alternative is that we can cut this dreadful time short by asking different questions.

You may enjoy contemplating your navel with questions like “Why me?  Why does nobody care about me?  What have I done to be treated in this dreadful manner?  How does he/she sleep at night knowing that he/she has destroyed me emotionally?” and so on.  If those are your questions, the torture can go on for years and you will not get anywhere.

So, let’s change the questions.  Rather ask “Why me? What is it that I needed to learn from this experience?  How is this experience making me a richer, stronger, wiser person?  What would be the nature of my contract with this person?” 

When you ask this new set of questions, detachment comes much sooner.  You become aware of the before and after, and you notice the difference in yourself.  Did you need to become more independent?  Are you now less insecure because you have discovered inner strength that you were not aware of?  Are you now more careful about who you trust?  Do you listen to your intuition, which you in the past wrote off because it was too faint, subtle or not quite what your ego had in mind?

With detachment comes forgiveness.  When you understand why the “destroyer” acted they way they did, you also intuitively understand the nature of your contract with this person.  You find a reason to be grateful for the behaviour you otherwise would have resented for years.

Does this mean you give in too easily?  No. It means you are more aware, and you learn faster.

Does it mean you need to continue the contract with the person who evoked such strong emotions in you?  That depends.  If the person is for example a co-parent, you need to continue the relationship for the sake of the children involved, but it does not necessarily mean you need to remain married.  You will intuitively know where your contract takes you next.

If the person is for example a friend who stabbed you in the back, then you may get the clarity about the reason for the experience and move away from the friendship – because you will intuitively know that the friendship has run its course.

What happens once you understand how the experience has made you a stronger, wiser, better person, does not really matter.  What matters is that you need to ask the right questions, so that you can reach the conclusions much sooner.

And yes, the “destroyer” will probably continue to sleep like a baby at night – because they have done a good job, whether you agree or not.

Ask the right questions, and you will also sleep well.

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