Yes, I am mixing metaphors, but the reason for that will become clear.
If I subtly hint that the administration of a large country is chaotic, would you know who I am referring to? If I even more subtly hint that the reason for this public impression is the public utterances of the president of the country, and that the actions of his staff don’t help to change the impression, would you know what I am talking about? This president lives on a diet of social media poison and misinformation coming from him or being exacerbated by him.
That is as far as I can go, if I don’t want to be forced to resign my job – but then I am not a diplomat from a country with whom the president and his country has a “special” relationship. This poor diplomat made the mistake of stating the bleeding obvious and putting it in writing.
When the furore over this resignation of the diplomat hit the news, the comment was made that the diplomat was ‘caught in public saying something that is widely believed’. His ‘punishment’ was that he was forced to resign, because the political situation became intolerable for him.
Sounds unfair, but what can we do?
But so far it is a situation on the international news, and it doesn’t really affect any of us. Or does it?
What do you do when things really go off the rails, and you are part of the situation? You may be part of the situation because you live in the country, or because the city where you live is under/on fire, or even because you are in a work situation where what happens is against your values and to the detriment of everyone involved. Do you keep quiet? Do you listen to the news and say to yourself ‘the world is going mad’ and turn your attention to something else? Do you say something to a friend and shake your head and move on? Do you voice your opinions out loud and try to change the situation?
This is not a recent moral dilemma, but rather one that is as old as humanity. I am not a Christian and I am sure that different scriptures address this issue, but I can only quote from Leviticus 5:1 because I recently became aware of this text: "'If anyone sins because they do not speak up when they hear a public charge to testify regarding something they have seen or learned about, they will be held responsible.”
This indicates a moral obligation to speak up, and to bear the consequences, no matter what.
It is interesting how something comes into your awareness, and then the test follows.
I once found myself in a work situation where incompetence, dishonesty and a general lack of regard for the client was allowed once, then twice, and then quickly became the norm. This was because of a total lack of leadership, or rather leadership that took the entire team to the abyss.
I was part of this team, and I realised within my first month that dishonesty and extremely damaging work practices were the norm. What do you do when you are new in the situation? I did what I normally do, which is never to turn the other cheek, but to rather determine whether what I discovered was my misinformed view (which could change because of the facts I discover) or an informed view which would be borne out by the facts.
In this instance the facts were plenty – and all the facts indicated that the emperor was stark naked in terms of integrity and competence, and he had his sycophantic followers who convinced him that his invisible cloak was beautiful. The emperor also enjoyed raving whenever his ignorance and incompetence were challenged, in the belief that pure anger and hatred would gloss over the massive cracks that he not only created himself, but also condoned in others. This habit quickly filtered down to those of his followers who had not yet tried to use tantrums as a cover for incompetence and ignorance, and they discovered that not only did the tantrums work, but the emperor supported them, as images of himself.
This is the recipe for a toxic work situation.
What to do when you are in this situation? This is where I feel empathy for the diplomat who was forced to resign because he stated the bleeding obvious, which not only his colleagues, but the entire world knew.
I worked from my sphere to tactfully expose the dishonesty, by providing solid proof to the emperor. To my absolute astonishment, I was told to “do introspection” because I was focusing on dishonesty towards a client, where regular “white lies” do the job. I started collecting the evidence of dishonesty.
I believe that it is only fair to criticize the skills of others when I am in a position to give them the skills. So I provided the tools to counter the incompetence, en ensured that the tools were accessible. Not only was the reception very cold, but the emperor told me in so many words that nothing I could offer would ever be welcome – I presume because anything I offered exposed his nakedness and his raving madness.
Since it was clear to me that the client was not only suffering losses, but was also losing confidence in the emperor in his team, I decided to escalate the issues by stating the bleeding obvious to a higher level of management, first in person, and then in writing. What happened? Nothing. Why? Because for those who could step in and set down the rules that would create a healthy workplace, collecting the fees every month was far more important.
Meanwhile the emperor was making regular noises about “straight talk” – which meant “do as you are told, without questioning” and “collaboration” – which meant “I will tell you from my limited experience and what I grabbed from a book somewhere what standard I expect you to set without arguing – and yes, the standard is low, but remember, so is my intelligence and level of competence, so shut up and obey.”
My cognitive dissonance, where the difference between what I believed was right and what was happening around me, was growing every day. Was it me? Was I the one with the warped view of the world?
When colleagues approached me to test their observations, which were identical to mine, I realised I was not wrong. When the client became quite verbal about their dissatisfaction and started talking about prematurely terminating the contract, I realised my observations were real.
And nothing was done to change anything.
I then discovered that the emperor had been escorted out of a previous work situation for the exact reasons I observed, and he was marched straight to this unsuspecting client, who was now paying the price for accepting him.
What could I do? Resign and walk away. I would have preferred to stay and root out the corruption, but one person can only be effective up to a point.
To my surprise, once I handed in my resignation, people from various corners (including the client who was losing on all fronts, and my employer who finally realised that I was not crying wolf) approached me - not to stay, but for me to provide as much evidence as possible of the rot that I had observed. They all realised that I would never thrive in a situation that will take a very heavy hand to change, and nobody tried to stop me. I handed it all over and walked away - after observing the emperor being fast asleep in a client meeting, while an irate client explained how the emperor and his team had failed. And nobody took any action - they were too busy admiring the emperor’s invisible clothes.
I could have taken a strong case to the labour court, but as tarot teaches us, justice (where each one of us has to account for our deeds at the end of our lives) is far more important than judgment (where I could win a huge victory, but at the expense of my own wellbeing).
Rumour has it that the emperor will be marched off the premises again soon, this time in disgrace with no option of a new victim who will unknowingly accept him and the damage he does. I am happily working in a new environment where everything I can contribute is accepted with open arms.
There is hope for the diplomat as well – he acted and he will get his reward. On a cosmic scale, he played his role by speaking up. And he is not the only one. The tide of voices against the corruption is rising world-wide.
This is how we make the world a better place. We speak up and voice our concerns, and we take action, even if it is on a small scale, because if we don’t say or do anything, we condone our dark sides. Are you part of the tide of integrity and well-being?
Karma is a bitch – if you approach her from the wrong angle.
This is what will be covered in Module 12:
Judgment and discernment. When am I allowed to judge people? Can I simply walk away from people I don’t like? What is discernment and how do I use discernment? What is this tree of knowledge of good and evil?
Soul contracts and reincarnation. What is a soul contract? How does reincarnation work? Who do I have soul contracts with?
Bias and prejudice. What is prejudice? Why do we have prejudice? Why should I accept people who differ from me? How far do I stretch these boundaries?
Finding good people. Where do I find good people when I a surrounded by bad people? How do I identify good people?
Feeling good vibrations. How do I get out of a toxic situation? How do I know when a situation or relationship is right for me?
Book your seat by clicking on the top right button for payment.
I look forward to welcoming you at the workshop.
Now that you know more or less what following a spiritual path means, it is time to learn some of the universal language of spirituality.
You have become aware of who you are, and you notice things which you have taken for granted in your daily life.
Being spiritual is no longer just a curiosity. You have discovered that there is a higher truth of which things like crystals, candles and psychic readings are only part.
This is the time to learn more about what some words (such as chakras, discernment, synchronicity, numerology) mean, and how you can improve your life and lifestyle to fit in with your spiritual awareness.
Get ready for a fascinating journey into the Universe, where you will discover what you have never been aware of, or what you have taken for granted.
These are the topics that will be covered in the course Learning the Universal Language:
Date to Be Announced: Universal Law
Date to Be Announced: Focused Healing
Date to Be Announced: The Quantum Language of the Universe
Date to Be Announced: The Messages in Repetitive Patterns
Date to Be Announced: The Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil
Date to Be Announced: Why Do Bad Things Happen to Good People?
Date to Be Announced: Working with Angels
Click above on the name of the workshop you are interested in to invest in this opportunity.
You may want to first get a solid foundation before moving into these more complex topics. Click on this link to find out more about the foundation course I Want to Know About Spirituality …
There will be a final series of workshops (Using the Universal Language) for people who want to learn about psychic skills, energy medicine,tarot, applying quantum physics and exploring their own intuitive gifts.
Now is a good time to get answers to your questions and book your seat by clicking on the name of the course you want to book on (if the date is not past yet) or get a copy of (if the course has taken place already).
Do swine eat pearls? Of course, I am asking the metaphysical question. If you want solid proof, please don’t feed your own pearls to real pigs. Rather search the internet – if someone has ever tried it, Dr Google will have a record of it.
Sometimes one must ask questions such as these, just to get some sanity and a reality check on a situation.
I have over the past year had to reassess quite a few close relationships in my life. I will give you a brief outline, but you will have to believe me when I say that these events shook my world and made me reassess many things that I had taken for granted all my life.
The first event related to an online friendship that turned real and then into a disappointment – I in fact became an online mistress, and then realised that I had been exactly that for at least five years while I was telling myself that I was simply nurturing a beautiful friendship. The only way for me to put an end to it, was to walk away and no longer respond. I still cherish some of the most beautiful memories you can imagine, but the experience made me question my own judgement.
Of course, when it comes to friends and lovers, we all at times question our own judgement and we all at times are very wrong about people. Why do we have these experiences – especially when we are good people? I will get to that later.
The second event related to my best friend finally succumbing to a self-destroying addiction and the unbearable heartache of watching this happen over years and being totally powerless to do anything about it. My mother was not a joy to behold at the best of times – she made it clear that she hated me from my first memories. With this woman I had a second mother and best friend, and it was one of the most meaningful relationships I ever had – and she became family from the moment she married into my family.
Her daughter also became a very good and valued friend, but then committed fraud. All this came to light after the death of my friend, and the poor woman was vilified by people who should know not to judge, and who had seen her true nature for years but still judged her when she could no longer defend herself.
For me, family is very important, and I had to walk away from an entire family that I took on as my own over many years. I trusted people that were not worthy of my trust, and I loved people who turned out not to care about me at all.
But still, I chose to let these people into my heart and into my life, because I saw the good in them. I was wrong with some of them, but I chose to walk away from all of them. Why leave the opportunity to have your nose rubbed into what was immensely hurtful by remaining friends with some while avoiding others? It was not pleasant.
As if all this was not enough, an inheritance was involved. There is an old saying that an inheritance brings your background to the foreground. Believe me, that is true.
So – you can choose your friends, but you cannot choose your family, they say. I am afraid I now have to disagree.
When you reach out to a friend for years with regular contact, simply asking how they are and remembering their birthdays, and you get nothing in return, something is wrong. If that friend does not even reciprocate by asking once in twenty years out of their own how you are, something is wrong. If that friend makes it clear in many ways that you are not relevant in their world, and even ask you why you keep contact with them, something is wrong. Why would you even try and nurture a friendship in such circumstances? You would have to be very needy and emotionally disturbed to keep trying to remain in contact.
But for family, you would do it – or at least I did. Then, suddenly, when an inheritance was involved, I was the source of communication, the peacemaker, the middleman who had to fight fires on all sides, and the one who got blamed for what was not of my doing. I continued to reach out, because this was family, and family look after each other, no matter what.
Then a major family event – which required a gift from me – was communicated to me by text, because the value of the expected gift was obviously less than the value of the inheritance which warranted more phone calls to me in six months than in the previous thirty years. That finally opened my eyes.
Swine can and do eat pearls.
It is right and good to love and cherish relationships – both with friends, lovers and family – and it is good to give people the benefit of the doubt. However, when they finally chew you up and spit you out, then you walk away, do introspection and take the wisdom from the experience. You don’t hang around and delude yourself into believing that things will get better.
For me the wisdom from these experiences is that even unconditional kindness is not always reciprocated. The human experience is conditional. Over the years friends have become family, and family have distanced themselves because even having a simple friendship was asking too much. Some people live according to their beliefs and values, and others have never heard of the universal law of “say what you do and do what you say”. Some people will grow and become inclusive, and other will remain judgmental and petty until the day they die.
I cannot change people. I cannot change the way they view their world. It does not matter whether these people are family or friends. That is how it is. Where a situation becomes unbearably painful because what you believe and what the world – and the players on the stage of the world – show you are in such conflict, for me the only solution is to walk away with love.
Will I now stop loving people and stop giving them the benefit of the doubt? Probably not – I don’t believe my nature will change overnight – just like the nature of the people I leave behind will not change. That is how it is. Will I allow the people who abused my kindness and treated me like dirt to enter my world again? Of course. I have no desire to wish ill on anyone. However, I will not reach out and look for more hurt and trouble. If I encounter them in the street or on social occasions, I will treat them with the courtesy that most people deserve. I will not try to change them. I will simply move on and continue to live my life according to what I value and what makes sense to me.
You cannot fix a broken plate, and I will no longer pretend that it is possible to ignore the cracks in the plate. I can choose my friends, and on the same basis I can choose my family. I will not burn in hell, but I will rather continue with my eternal journey – just like they will, and I am grateful to all of them for being powerful teachers of powerful truths to me.
We are all here to fulfil contracts with our loved ones – contracts that we entered before we reincarnated. I have fulfilled my contracts with more people than I care to be reminded of over the past year, and it is time to take that wisdom and start a new cycle in my life, making space for new energy, new friends, new experiences. Namaste.
Dis-ease and illness get our bodies off balance, and that impacts on our mental and emotional health.
My wife left me a while ago for someone else and our divorce will be finalized soon. I believed I had moved on, and have since met a lovely lady with whom I was very happy.
I have recently had hip surgery which temporarily put an end to my very active sports while I was on crutches.
After the surgery I broke up with my girlfriend for no reason, and tried to get my wife back (even though I knew she was already involved with another man).
Needless to say, I have since come to my senses and have my lovely girlfriend back with me. Of course the divorce is going through, so that my wife and I can both move on. I am also fully mobile again.
I am trying to understand why I caused such upheaval in my life with my actions. Did the surgery cause some state of depression that made me lose my judgment?
One of the main questions that the Church of England seems to be grappling with – or at least those questions that got the headlines – are around whether women and gay men are good enough in the eyes of God to become bishops.
I have recently returned from a trip to South Africa, where I was born and spent my first forty-three years in this life.
A week before I went there, serious xenophobic attacks broke out and sadly, many people met a violent end.
I was asked by friends in the UK whether I thought it was wise to go there, and my answer was