I sometimes get requests from people to help them move to the UK, because they are so unhappy where there are, for various reasons. For example, a man does not like his job in Jordan and sends his CV to me so that I can find him a job in England. Or a woman does not like the cultural constraints on her behaviour and actions in Egypt and wants me to help her find an English boyfriend. Or a man in South Africa hears how happy his friends are in England, and decides to move after them and share their happiness.
The one thing that these people have in common is that they want other people to make them happy. They do not know yet that happiness comes from inside, and not from other people.
To put it another way, they feel trapped in their situation and want to escape at all costs to the land of milk and honey, wherever and whoever that is.
Guess what? These are the immigrants who find fault with everything in their adopted country. They cannot find what they came looking for, and go back to their homeland, even more disillusioned than when they arrived in their adopted country.
This happens when someone does not understand one of the basic laws of nature, namely that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. They live in a bubble of unhappiness and they do not even notice the positive aspects of their situation.
Every situation, no matter how “bad” it is, has two sides. And we have two options in terms of how to deal with the situation. We can focus entirely on the downside, and find lots of evidence that we are right. Or we can deliberately search for the upside of the situation – because it is there if we care to look for it.
For example, to escape from an unpleasant job my friend has developed a hobby that he can make money from. That will combine his passion with his economic need. He can practice that hobby in Jordan or in England.
The lady could find an English boyfriend and be at his beck and call, so that she can survive in England. How does that differ from being at the beck and call of a man in her own country based on her own culture? She already has many means of coping with her current situation but does not recognize them, because she is looking for a solution from someone else.
And the South Africans who want to come to England in search of happiness? Until they have resolved their emotional issues about their own country, they will not be happy anywhere else in the world.
If you are unhappy where you are right now, look for the exact opposite of what causes your unhappiness. When you find it, a chemical reaction will take place in your body, and you will change permanently – for the better.
Love and Light
Elsabe
PS: I am The Intuition Coach. I help people who lack clarity, vision and purpose to remove their blocks, discover their intuition and achieve their goals. What is consuming all your energy? Visit www.TheIntuitionCoach.com for a FREE New Start Quiz.
What happened to your New Year’s resolutions for last year? Can you remember how long they lasted? And can you remember how you felt when you realised that you had failed in keeping them? You failed yourself.
Why did you make those resolutions in the first place? Of course, you made them because there was a particular part of your life that caused you much stress. Your solution was to make just one change. You fooled yourself into thinking that one change would make everything all right.
And when the change did not last, the situation was actually much worse, because you now felt even more like a failure.
For many people the only reflection they do in the New Year relates to the amount they drank (again) and how they never learn.
Other people do not even tell anyone what their New Year’s resolutions are, because they know from experience that the resolutions will not last into the New Year.
I went through the same vicious cycle for a significant part of my life. I believed that I was powerless to influence the outcome of anything, and therefore I had to just make the best of it.
The more I played the victim, the more I became a victim. I had to learn a few very hard life lessons before I realised that there is a plan behind every one of my experiences.
It was so interesting to note how groups of bad experiences dwindled the moment I “got the message”.
The more I delved into this, the more I discovered a different reality that made complete sense to me.
My own research has uncovered a massive body of knowledge that I started to apply in my own life. I came to see more patterns, more processes, more relationships between people and nature. I became aware of a different reality.
I learnt that some things happen to us because they are inevitable, while other things happen to us because they are part of a much bigger plan. I learnt how to distinguish between the things I had to change and the things I had to accept.
The result was that I no longer make any New Year’s resolutions. I no longer need them. Instead, I become aware of my life plan, and I allow thoughts and ideas to bubble to the surface. I then pick and choose what I want, and see how the thoughts become actions.
A significant outcome for me is significantly reduced stress, and significantly increased peace of mind and contentment.
If you want some ideas on how to reduce your own stress significantly and create the best New Year ever, please contact me for some great ideas.
Please leave a comment if you feel inspired.
Love and Light
Elsabe
PS: I am a professional transition coach. I help individuals and businesses to achieve their personal and commercial objectives.
What is the one thing which is consuming all your energy at the moment?
Visit Discover your self. Love your Life for a FREE new start audit and a FREE Food for Thought subscription, as well as details on the SMIT-method for stress relief.
