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Does marriage happen in your heart or on paper?
The cage fighter Alex Reid asked reality TV star Chantelle Houghton to marry him during a TV interview, and she accepted. Now Alex claims that “in his heart” he is already married to Chantelle, despite the fact that his marriage to Katie Price is still to be dissolved.
This situation seems to make a mockery of marriage – if you believe that marriage is “until death us do part”. Like many other celebrities, Alex seems to move from one relationship to the next quite quickly, and one may jump to the conclusion that he does not understand the meaning of commitment and is therefore not relationship material.
However, Alex Reid’s marriage and new relationship is a good example of the state of relationships, since we live in an age where relationships start and end much faster than in the past.
Every relationship has a natural end date. Yes, a relationship may be short-lived, like the one between Alex Reid and Katie Price, or it may last for 70 years, like the one between the couple who recently passed away within an hour of each other after both being injured in a car accident.
The question is not how long you can make a relationship or marriage last, but rather whether you can recognise the end of the relationship. Once it is clear that the relationship has come to an end and the partners still hold on, the situation normally becomes quite explosive. It becomes more and more difficult to move on and the emotions get stronger and more painful.
You know intuitively when you have reached the natural end of a relationship, because you start to withdraw physically and emotionally. Even if you still feel committed, you will feel your partner withdraw and you will know that things are not the same any longer.
When you are married to your partner, there seems to be an obligation to do everything humanly possible to save the marriage, because if you do not stay married, you have failed. This attitude goes against nature, where everything happens in cycles – including relationships.
Alex Reid seems on the surface to have recognised that his marriage relationship is truly over, and to have moved on. It is heartening news that he and Chantelle want to enjoy their engagement before they get married. That will give them both the time to deal with any final baggage from their past relationships.
And yes, dissolving Alex’s marriage to Katie Price is part of moving on and it cannot be ignored. The legal process will still result in strong emotions related to the marriage that he has to deal with, and those emotions will impact on his current relationship until he has dealt with them.
Will it be necessary for Alex and Chantelle to get married to prove their commitment to each other? That is a personal decision. He seems to understand from his own experience that a marriage certificate does not necessarily mean commitment to a person. He has already publicly declared his commitment to Chantelle and that is binding in his mind.
Will his commitment to Chantelle last for ever? That depends entirely on the soul contract between them and the reason why they are having a relationship. Maybe it will, maybe it won’t. Either way, if he and Chantelle ever part ways, it will mean the end of the relationship, and not the end of the world.
Are you in a marriage relationship that you want to leave, but something is holding you back? Do you feel guilty about breaking your marriage vows and getting divorced? Would you like to find new love but you do not know how to put the past to rest?
Then I may help you.
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