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Posts Tagged ‘peace’

In Search Of Solace

Sunday, January 23rd, 2011

Hello Lovely People

Life is a rollercoaster at the best of times.  When times are good, we feel the elation and fun of being here, and we want to share our joy with the world.  When times are bad, either we do not want to face anyone, or nobody wants to face our misery.

Where do we find our solace and peace during the down times?  And why do we only seek solace during the down times?

I grew up in a culture where we were taught that during the worst of times, we can find solace in the church.  When I hit my first adult crisis, I went to the church and found an empty, cold building.  I went to the people of the church, but they chose to avoid me.  I became an outcast because I was getting a divorce.  I then went to the church minister for the solace that I so desperately needed, but the reception was cold and hostile.

That was not solace.  I kept searching.

I became a psychologist and memorised every theory about changing behaviour and thoughts.   I applied these theories and they worked as long as people really wanted to buy into the constraints of the theories and shared a particular reality.

But then a company that I worked for experienced a low in the economic cycle and could no longer afford my expertise.  I had to find another job.  This is not a big deal in itself, but it took me seven months to find another job.  In my culture this was a definite sign of failure, and as a result I could not share the path with anyone else.  None of the theories worked for me. I needed solace.

At the same time a friend looked at me for help in dealing with a very personal crisis.  None of the theories worked for his situation either and I had to pretend to be strong while I desperately needed solace.  Not from the church, not from knowledge of psychological theories, not from family, not from friends – none of them could provide any for me.

That is when my search for solace started in earnest.  In desperation I did a thing that was regarded as a big sin – I went to see a psychic.  She gave me the hope and courage that I was looking for.  She told me about the job that I would get, and everything turned out as she had predicted.  I was impressed.  I wanted to know more.

I had a glimpse of solace, but the new job and the friend that challenged every paradigm that I grew up with took that away again.  I discovered that it is much easier to lose inner peace than to find it.

It also did not feel quite right for me that I had to pay another person to look into my future and provide solace to me.  What if that person was not available the next time?  What if I went to another psychic and that person gave me a different version of my future?  What peace would that leave me with?  And where did they get the information from anyway?  I wanted to bypass the “middlemen” and go straight to the source.

But where and who and what was the source?  My quest led me to reading about spiritual issues.  I discovered the difference between faith and religion.  I understood why, for me, the whole concept of religion and the external control that went with it was quite disturbing.

As part of my journey I discovered my own psychic abilities.  For many years I helped other people find solace in that I could read their past, present and future, and give them moments of peace.  The peace they got from listening to the messages I conveyed probably was also not lasting, and they probably are also still searching.

However, that journey taught me so much about our inner world.  I discovered that we all share the same inner world, no matter what our challenges in life are.  That inner world is governed by a particular structure and a number of laws that are always the same.

The laws include things like “you cannot pour from an empty jug, and it is your duty to keep your inner jug full” and “there is no bad or good, there are only challenges, and we only get the challenges that we are ready for”.

I learned from the lives of my clients about the spiral.  We begin life at the bottom of a spiral, and through various life experiences, we manage the slow, arduous climb up the spiral.  Eventually we reach the top of the spiral, and life is rosy –we have solace – and we have an inner peace and a tranquillity that is so lovely to experience.

And the life happens again and we think oh no, not again – just when everything is going so well.  We look up and all we see is the long arduous climb up the spiral, and that we have to do it again.  However, we forget to look down and see where we came from and how much we have already achieved.  We do not notice that while we are at the bottom of the new spiral, we are in fact at the top of the previous spiral.  We never slide down.  We just keep climbing, and as we climb up our legs just grow stronger.

Did these insights help me in my journey?  Yes, they did, in the sense that I now understand a process that we all go through in many different ways during our lives.  And no, they did not, in the sense that I can easily tune in to my clients and give them insights into their lives and inner peace, however fleeting, but for a long time I did not get the same insights for myself.  That was quite frustrating, because I wanted to know more about my own future than about the future of my clients.  After all, how much is a gift of being psychic worth if you cannot use it for yourself?

Then I experienced the next eye-opener.  I wanted to know about my own future because I had all kinds of fears about what was waiting for me.  I wanted to know whether I was good enough for what was ahead of me.  Was I equipped for the challenges?  Would there be enough money?  What if this, what if that?

I learned to do with the fear exactly what my clients are always advised by means of their messages – break the fears down in the same way that you built up the fears – brick by brick, illusion by illusion.  Where there is no fear, there is clarity, and instead of being blinded by the fear, I can now be guided by the vision.

Do I still have moments of fear?  You bet.  Do I break them down quickly?  Of course, because my vision is clear.

My journey has also taken me to solutions and methods that I use to help people find moments of balance in their lives rather than look at the future with fear.  I can then help them to understand that we only experience moments of balance, and as long as we are aware of them, we will strive for them.

However, there are ways to speed up these moments and live a more balanced life in general.  We can identify our view of the world and understand how and when this view was shaped.  We can then bring perspective to those crucial moments and find the balance in everything that happens to us.  And there is solace.

Inner peace is not a sanctuary where we go if we want to hide away from a cruel world.  It is rather a moment where we win, having played the world at its own game.  Then we move on to the next level and we aim to win that level as well.  Inner peace is the prize that we work for, and we learn to find more and more moments of inner peace.  We also learn that days of inner peace are not realistic or challenging enough when we have this zest for life.  We accept the fleeting moments of solace with gratitude and we accept the challenges that come our way with gratitude.

We realise that we are in the driver’s seat, and that always provides a moment of bliss along the way.  That is what makes the journey worthwhile.

Love and Light

Elsabe


Perish the Thought of Ever-lasting Peace 2

Thursday, April 1st, 2010

Hello Lovely People

Think back to a situation that you can describe as your own war.  Was it a war where you were a soldier?  Or was it an argument, or a conflict situation that you did not enjoy at all?  Was it inner turmoil where you had to make peace with some changes in your life?

Here is the interesting question: what did you gain from the situation?

One of the main things I have gained from war – even if it is just conflict with another person, is an appreciation of diversity.  We are not the same.  There are a few billion different people on this planet.  Every one of us have something to contribute to humanity.

I have experienced inner conflict situations where I assumed that various people were the enemy.  I have on many occasions been surprised to discover empathy and compassion in others, and this has taught me humility.

Conflict situations have allowed me to experience gratitude for what I have and for what I have gained from the conflict.  I have learnt to look for the upside of every conflict situation and for the downside of every situation that was based on an infatuation with a person or circumstances.  As a result my life has become far more balanced.  I have learnt to control and manage my emotions, rather than allow strong emotions to manage me.

Have you noticed that with any conflict you get to a point where you have clarity of vision?  You move above and beyond the conflict and as a result you see the so-called bigger picture.  Suddenly you realise how petty and insignificant your conflict is, and you experience the relief that goes with peace.

Have you ever had conflict with a love partner, and as a result experienced even deeper love based on increased understanding?  Now there is a moment of peace that I would not exchange for anything.

Looking back at my life, conflict has allowed me to cut ties with people and move on.  Often we hold on to people to the detriment of everyone involved.  Conflict allows us to let go and grow into greater things.  Sadly, we hardly ever stop to thank our opponents for allowing us to leave them behind.

Conflict also often forces us to change direction.  Remember that vicious boss who eventually made you resign in desperation?  Remember how you got a far better job which allowed you to grow and learn more about yourself?  Imagine still being stuck in that going-nowhere-fast relationship and not meeting the next person who was ready for the new you.

War and peace do not only happen between countries.  We have war and peace inside of our selves and around us on a daily basis.

Next time you wish for peace, remember that peace will not last.  Neither will war.  We need peace as much as we need conflict.  That is the purpose of our existence here.

Of course needing conflict does not mean needing to kill other people.  Just step back and see what you can learn from yourself about the conflict.  Then thank your opponent for the lesson and move on.

Love and Light

Elsabe

PS: I am a professional transition coach. I help individuals and businesses to achieve their personal and commercial objectives.

What is the one thing which is consuming all your energy at the moment?

Skype ElsabeSmitUK

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Perish the Thought of Ever-Lasting Peace 1

Monday, March 29th, 2010

Hello Lovely People

What would an Israeli ex-soldier, a Northern Irish child of peace fighters, an Arab with terrorist siblings and a product of South African apartheid have in common?

Would you expect all these people to demand peace and denounce war?  Probably.

However, here is a completely different take.

Think back to the last time when you had a moment of complete peace.  Can you remember what you experienced?  Was it stillness, or bliss?  Can you remember the calmness?  Now imagine that your moment of peace continues for a long time – like five years with no interruption.  Wouldn’t that be nice?

I thought not.

I made a list of the drawbacks of such a long spell of peace.  My list included a lack of personal growth.  What do we learn from the good times?

Of course there would be no challenge, because everyone will agree that this peace is wonderful, and there is no challenge in similarity.

Just the thought of all this makes me feel bored already.  I do not particularly enjoy fighting or arguing, but I cannot imagine that a long period of being unchallenged by anything will be anything less than boring.  It is great to feel placid and quiet, but as the saying goes, too much of a good thing is no longer good.

Have you ever had a real fight on your hands and then experienced peace afterwards?  I can remember many instances where I achieved that peace, and enjoyed all of it.  If I did not first experience the conflict, I would probably not have appreciated the peace.

I actually enjoy having my attention and energy focused on some objective.  There are times when I simply focus on clearing my mind so that I can receive creative thoughts and energy.  What if I receive all that energy and I am so at peace with myself and the world that I just allow the energy to flow away through my fingers?  Possibly once, maybe twice, and after that I will get itchy.  That is my nature.

I feel that everlasting peace will be a denial of life.  We do not live in a world where there is always peace.  Even when we live in a peaceful country, we always experience some inner turmoil based on love, work or social relationships.  If no other people are involved, we still have some sort of inner turmoil.  Life is about not having peace and always striving towards peace.

Of course there is another side to every situation – like a coin which always has two sides.

To be continued

Love and Light

Elsabe

PS: I am a professional transition coach. I help individuals and businesses to achieve their personal and commercial objectives.

What is the one thing which is consuming all your energy at the moment?

Skype ElsabeSmitUK

Twitter ElsabeSmit

LinkedIn Elsabe Smit